Are you tired of being dragged around the shopping center looking at clothes?
Are you bored and looking for something to do?
Do you just hate shopping centers?
The answer is finally here.
18 hilarious things to do at the shops:
1. Walk around the shops looking normal, then as soon as an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream “Oh god its those voices again!”, “Please! Make them stop!”.
2. Go down an escalator, making sure that someone is behind you. Just as you reach the bottom, yell out “MY SHOELACES! AUUGGHH!”
3. Teach the birds in pet stores how to swear, making them unsellable, yet highly entertaining!
4. Order a dozen live lobsters from a seafood shop, then set them free in a department store (remembering to remove the little rubber bands from their claws of course.
5. After a few minutes of hilarious chaos, run up to one of the lobsters and explain to it that you have found the potion required to turn it back into a human.
6. Walk up to random strangers and ask them if they have seen your pet snake. It was in your pocket just a minute ago…
7. Walk into the grocery store wearing a white lab coat, mask and goggles. Carefully put some vegetables in a plastic bag, holding them at arms distance with a pair of tongs, shaking your head in disgust. Occasionally take some notes on a clipboard. This one works best when there are older people and parents nearby.
8. Run up to an employee in a department store (preferable male), squeeze your legs together and yell at him “I need some tampons.. NOW!”.
9. Slowly walk up to a surveillance camera and stare straight into the lense, rocking from side to side. Do this for several hours without moving at all.
10. Walk into the changing rooms and in a singsong voice, say: “I see London, I see France…”
11. If a sales person walks up to you and asks if you need help, start to cry and exclaim “Why won’t you people just leave me alone!?”
12. Release a box full of ants into a sale bin full of underpants.
13. Go into a fitting room and yell out: “Hey! We’re out of toilet paper in here!”
14. Unleash several mice into the dressing rooms
15. Tip toe quietly and stealthily through the isles and around corners – with a magnifying glass
16. Stage a fake phone call on your mobile phone: “What do you mean doctor, I can’t have malaria, that was weeks ago!”
17. As you walk past people in the isles, look at them with sudden shock and terror on your face and run in the opposite direction screaming.
18. Tell the manager that they need to call a clean up in the laxative isle.
If anyone complains, explain to them that you are simply doing an experiment on human reactions and thank them for participating. This will usually stop any potentially worrying situations and get people laughing a bit.
Ryans Crazy Thoughts takes no responsibility for any actions which may cause injury.
We do not condone any of these activities. This blog post is for entertainment purposes only.
Do you have any other funny ideas to do while at the shops? Let us know in the comments!